#dating – Scribbling For Fun

I’m taking a break this week from my 30-Day Space Available Adventure to dip back into the Dating Vault. I was joking with one of my younger single friends about booty calls.

How long is it acceptable for a guy to keep your number in his queue, then call you up out of the blue expecting you to be receptive to his advances? The weirdest one I had was a year.

Yep, you read that right. A year. This was after he DID NOT call me back after our first and only date. Now, I will say after that less than stellar date, I wasn’t hankering to hear from him. which was why I was surprised to get a booty call more than a year later.

Let me set the stage.

My sophomore year in college, I decided to try out the on-line dating thing again. One such date was a guy named *Mike. Mike and I chatted online for a bit before deciding to meet for dinner. We had pretty good rapport in our online messaging and phone calls, so I was pretty excited about Mike. From his online pictures, he was good-looking (I know, I know, some of you sense danger already. This is when online dating was in its infancy). I even went out and bought a new outfit for this particular date.

I would regret wasting the money later, though I still have the shirt. what can I say, I’m kind of a clothes hoarder.

*Once again, name have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent

What’s the Most Taboo Topic on a First Date?

My regret was not in how Mike looked. His pictures were spot on. My regret was in our dinner conversation over Mexican food at Azteca* restaurant.

*I mention the specific name because it will be an important detail later during the booty call!

I think everyone can agree that exes are typically something a person shouldn’t bring up on a date, right?

His Ex and her Magnificent Fake Breasts

Not in Mike’s case. He spent the whole date getting wasted and talking about how gorgeous his ex was. I got to hear all about her plastic surgery and magnificent fake breasts (and how much he missed them). His grand plan was to train to become a pilot so that he could make enough money to impress her to win her back.

I stabbed at my chicken enchiladas trying to pretend to be interested in this bizarre conversation. I seriously wondered why the hell I was there. I couldn’t even have a margarita since I was driving, though I planned on drowning my angst when I got home.

When I got up to use the ladies’ room at one point, Mike made sure to comment on how great my backside looked in my jeans (but not in such polite terms). When we finished dinner and split the check, I declined the honor of going back to his place.

SHOCKING!

I know, how could I resist such charm?

Obviously, he never called me for a follow-up date. I never called him requesting another either. The feeling seemed mutual at the time.

Can I pick a winner, or what?

A Year Later…The booty Call

Late at night, over a year later, I was sitting on my couch studying for one of my electrical engineering finals. You can imagine my surprise to receive a random text from a number I didn’t recognize:

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TONIGHT?

Baffled, I replied:

WHO IS THIS?

A few moments later:

MIKE! WE HAD DINNER AT AZTECA!

I’m sitting on my couch holding my phone surrounded by piles of engineering notes. My phone was one of those small, gray Motorolas that were popular circa 2003. Not great for fast texting, but practically indestructible. I’m staring at this thing trying to figure out who the hell this guy is, then it hit me.

It was the creepy guy that went on and on about his ex, her fake breasts and his pilot lessons.

So I texted back:

HOW ARE THE PILOT LESSONS GOING?

Funny…he never replied.

Personally, my statute of limitations on booty calls is pretty short. If you didn’t get any on the first go round, probably doesn’t make sense to call me out of the blue a year later. But then, there is the saying, “Fortune favors the bold.”

Thanks for reading!

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About the Author

I joined the Navy at 18 to escape a small town in the Mojave Desert. A diagnosis of MS disrupted my dreams of becoming an astronaut or a super spy. I made limoncello from my lemons and became a super electrical engineer instead. My fascination with live high voltage drew me to Alaska. I came for the job, but stayed for the adventure. I enjoy blogging about my journey as a woman working in STEM, my experiences dealing with everything MS has handed me, and the wonder of the Alaska wilderness. My husband and I have undertaken the task of turning 30 acres of remote land into an off-grid retreat. I write stories about unique women in STEM who save the day and the hot guys who sometimes help along the way, as well as historical fiction about the Klondike Gold Rush. Teasers for these stories can be found on my website. I self-published my first horror novella, The Dark Land, on Amazon in May of 2020. I released the sequel, The Devil’s Valley, in May of 2021. Both stories are set in the wilderness of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park, and draw on the Athabascan “Head Waters Peoples” legends of the Cet’ann, or “The People With Tails”.

Some places were never meant for humans to trespass: The Dark Land

Stories from the dating trenches…literally

I’ve been married now for 10 years. I still have vivid memories of the dating scene and of course, my strangest dates. I promised some of my followers I would do a blog post about one of the weirdest after we had a lively Twitter debate about dating deal breakers. So here it is, the full story on The Red Baron. I’ll give him a pseudonym of Mr. Baron for this blog post.

Date #1

As some of you know, I am a huge fan of history. In fact, I am even writing a historical fiction novel at the moment. It’s set in Dawson City in 1898. So, on my first date with Mr. Baron, I was pleased to fall into a deep conversation about WWI history and of course the man known as Baron Manfred von Richthofen.

https://www.history.com/topics/world-war-i/manfred-baron-von-richthofen

Now, Mr. Baron seemed like a half-way decent guy. REALLY knowledgeable about the Red Baron and his WWI flying history. In fact, I can’t remember talking about ANYTHING else on the date. To be honest, I don’t think he really asked me anything about myself. That being said, his knowledge of history had me impressed. Mr. Baron was a little odd, but so am I.

I figured I would give him a second date.

Date #2

On our second date, he spent most of it telling me about how he travelled to Europe to visit where the Red Baron was born in Poland, where he had trained to fly and where he had ultimately crashed and died in Vaux-sur-Somme, France. I was beginning to find his obsession with the Red Baron to be a little over the top.

Then I also thought, meh, we all have our thing.

I love Louisa May Alcott. When I went to Massachusetts in 2018 to graduate from my master’s program from WPI, we made a special trip to Concord, MA. We stopped at Orchard House. We even went to the Sleepy Hollow Cemetery and visited Louisa May Alcott’s grave. I did a whole blog post about the visit. So, I told myself:

Who am I to be so judgy?

Gravestone of Louisa May Alcott, Sleepy Hollow Cemetery, Concord, MA

Date #3

His Apartment-BIG RED FLAGS

On date number three we went for a hike near his apartment, then he invited me in.

Once again, he had other proclivities and mannerisms that gave me an odd vibe. I tempered it with the argument that he seemed like a nice, normal guy who was just REALLY into history.

I should mention not only was he into WWI history, but pretty much the whole era of the early 1900’s. Including the history of the sinking of the Titanic.

Walking into his apartment he had a full, wall-sized poster from the movie, Titanic. Staring at me from its very own glass case was Rose, from Titanic.

Yes folks, he had his very own KATE WINSLET DOLL!!!

https://www.ebay.com/itm/FRANKLIN-MINT-TITANIC-KATE-WINSLET-AS-ROSE-RED-JUMP-DRESS-16-VINYL-DOLL-NEW-COA-/252622847372

The creepy vibes were overpowering as his doll watched our every move. He told me more about the Red Baron and his obsession with the Titanic as he tried to put his best moves on me. I made a polite excuse about needing to work the next day and bailed.

Final Phone call-Hailing the Spirit World

Mr. Baron called me later that week to chat. He proceeded to tell me all about how sometimes, he gets a medium to channel the Red Baron for him, so that he can know more about the Red Baron’s personality and traits so he can be more like him.

Look, I have nothing against seeking spiritual or professional guidance in your life. But damn. I think even Manfred von Richthofen has to be watching from the ether thinking, the same thing I was,

“GET A LIFE OF YOUR OWN!”

My brain was still stewing over his spiritual revelation when he asked his next question:

“So, what do you think your timeline is for when you’ll have sex with me?”
-The Red Baron

No, I hadn’t bedded Mr. Baron. My Spidey senses screamed NO on this one.

Now they were absolutely howling.

In my head I replied NEVER. I was starting to have visions of him asking me to cosplay as Rose from Titanic.

As I write this, my husband is all for re-creating the “drawing scene with the necklace,”—but I digress.

Over the phone, I politely told him I would have sex with him when I was comfortable and felt it was the right time.

You’re going to be shocked—he never called again. Guess the feeling was mutual.

The Best Comebacks

So relating this story a few weeks later to a friend and her boyfriend over beers at our favorite pub, and I get to the end. Her boyfriend chokes on his beer and starts to laugh.

“What?” I asked.

“OMG! You know what you should have told him?”

“No? What?”

“I only sleep with Real Barons.”

Why do the best comebacks always come to you when it is too late?

Thanks for reading friends. For my single friends, hang in there. I know it’s tough. In the meantime, I do promise to spill the secrets on some of my weird dating adventures (weirder than that?). Meanwhile stay tuned for more Alaska stories and reviews of great books. My own self-published horror novels, the Dark Land, and The Devil’s Valley are available on Amazon.

Tag: #dating

The Statute of Limitations on A Booty Call: Weird Dating Tales of Old

What’s the Most Taboo Topic on a First Date?

His Ex and her Magnificent Fake Breasts

A Year Later…The booty Call

About the Author

The Red Baron