I’m taking a break this week from my 30-Day Space Available Adventure to dip back into the Dating Vault. I was joking with one of my younger single friends about booty calls.
How long is it acceptable for a guy to keep your number in his queue, then call you up out of the blue expecting you to be receptive to his advances? The weirdest one I had was a year.
Yep, you read that right. A year. This was after he DID NOT call me back after our first and only date. Now, I will say after that less than stellar date, I wasn’t hankering to hear from him. which was why I was surprised to get a booty call more than a year later.
Let me set the stage.
My sophomore year in college, I decided to try out the on-line dating thing again. One such date was a guy named *Mike. Mike and I chatted online for a bit before deciding to meet for dinner. We had pretty good rapport in our online messaging and phone calls, so I was pretty excited about Mike. From his online pictures, he was good-looking (I know, I know, some of you sense danger already. This is when online dating was in its infancy). I even went out and bought a new outfit for this particular date.
I would regret wasting the money later, though I still have the shirt. what can I say, I’m kind of a clothes hoarder.
*Once again, name have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent
What’s the Most Taboo Topic on a First Date?
My regret was not in how Mike looked. His pictures were spot on. My regret was in our dinner conversation over Mexican food at Azteca* restaurant.
*I mention the specific name because it will be an important detail later during the booty call!
I think everyone can agree that exes are typically something a person shouldn’t bring up on a date, right?
His Ex and her Magnificent Fake Breasts
Not in Mike’s case. He spent the whole date getting wasted and talking about how gorgeous his ex was. I got to hear all about her plastic surgery and magnificent fake breasts (and how much he missed them). His grand plan was to train to become a pilot so that he could make enough money to impress her to win her back.
I stabbed at my chicken enchiladas trying to pretend to be interested in this bizarre conversation. I seriously wondered why the hell I was there. I couldn’t even have a margarita since I was driving, though I planned on drowning my angst when I got home.
When I got up to use the ladies’ room at one point, Mike made sure to comment on how great my backside looked in my jeans (but not in such polite terms). When we finished dinner and split the check, I declined the honor of going back to his place.
SHOCKING!
I know, how could I resist such charm?
Obviously, he never called me for a follow-up date. I never called him requesting another either. The feeling seemed mutual at the time.
Can I pick a winner, or what?
A Year Later…The booty Call
Late at night, over a year later, I was sitting on my couch studying for one of my electrical engineering finals. You can imagine my surprise to receive a random text from a number I didn’t recognize:
HEY, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TONIGHT?
Baffled, I replied:
WHO IS THIS?
A few moments later:
MIKE! WE HAD DINNER AT AZTECA!
I’m sitting on my couch holding my phone surrounded by piles of engineering notes. My phone was one of those small, gray Motorolas that were popular circa 2003. Not great for fast texting, but practically indestructible. I’m staring at this thing trying to figure out who the hell this guy is, then it hit me.
It was the creepy guy that went on and on about his ex, her fake breasts and his pilot lessons.
So I texted back:
HOW ARE THE PILOT LESSONS GOING?
Funny…he never replied.
Personally, my statute of limitations on booty calls is pretty short. If you didn’t get any on the first go round, probably doesn’t make sense to call me out of the blue a year later. But then, there is the saying, “Fortune favors the bold.”
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About the Author
I joined the Navy at 18 to escape a small town in the Mojave Desert. A diagnosis of MS disrupted my dreams of becoming an astronaut or a super spy. I made limoncello from my lemons and became a super electrical engineer instead. My fascination with live high voltage drew me to Alaska. I came for the job, but stayed for the adventure. I enjoy blogging about my journey as a woman working in STEM, my experiences dealing with everything MS has handed me, and the wonder of the Alaska wilderness. My husband and I have undertaken the task of turning 30 acres of remote land into an off-grid retreat. I write stories about unique women in STEM who save the day and the hot guys who sometimes help along the way, as well as historical fiction about the Klondike Gold Rush. Teasers for these stories can be found on my website. I self-published my first horror novella, The Dark Land, on Amazon in May of 2020. I released the sequel, The Devil’s Valley, in May of 2021. Both stories are set in the wilderness of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park, and draw on the Athabascan “Head Waters Peoples” legends of the Cet’ann, or “The People With Tails”.
