Uncategorized – Scribbling For Fun

July 10, 2023

My Review of Carol Beth Anderson’s Beauty and Deceit.

A new spin on Beauty and the Beast involving, fairies, magic, and a contest.

I’m a huge fan of fairytales and fairy tale retellings, so I was very eager to read Beauty and Deceit, Anderson’s take on the classic tale of Beauty and the Beast.

Carol Beth Anderson’s Beauty and Deceit

First off, I really enjoyed how she got away from the Stockholm Syndrome/Prisoner aspect of the original tale. It was always tough for me to swallow the whole, “I’m a prisoner of this creepy monster because my dad took a rose. But, hey he’s nice to me and we live in this swell castle. I love him!”

C’mon, raise your standards, girl.

Instead, our heroine, Aeryn is selected to “compete” for the Beast, in the style of the show the Bachelor. Except, the nine other contestants are Fae and have unearthly beauty and magical powers, while Aeryn is an attractive, but normal (or so she thinks, spoiler alert) human.

While Aeryn is not a prisoner of Tor, the Beast, she’s a prisoner of her motives to enter the contest, and her Savior Syndrome. She has an overwhelming urge to take care of everyone else’s problems, to the detriment of herself. In this case, the fairy who brought her into the contest will take care of her poor and starving family as long as she is in the contest. As she gets to know the other contestants, and their motives for joining the contest, she tries to solve their problems as well. But like all protagonists with a flaw, the more she tries to help, the more she messes things up. And oh nelly, does she mess things up.

I liked how the other characters had varying reasons, good and bad, for joining the contest (and wanting to win). The alliances between the contestants constantly shifted and merged along the way. I’ve never seen the show, The Bachelor, but I’ve read enough to imagine it must be the same way. Some join to find love, others for fame, probably some just for the fun of it.

Tor, is difficult to like, let alone love. Okay, I take that back, he’s an absolute jerk. He’s arrogant, conceited and obnoxious. It’s hard to have empathy for his plight. You really have more concern for the rest of the people effected by his curse. Throughout the story, I wanted to scream at Aeryn, “Dammit! Walk away, your family will be fine. You don’t have to put up with his crap. Let someone else win.” But, Aeryn is determined to win, to save her family, the other contestants and the people trapped by Tor’s curse. What she risks losing is herself and those she truly loves.

The author does a great job with the protagonist in that she’s not a perfect Mary Sue. She does have anxieties and flaws that cause her to constantly trip up along the way. Now, I did wish (spoiler alert #2) that Aeryn hadn’t suddenly developed magic along the way. I would have liked her to get out of some of her problems using other skills (but that’s just me—this isn’t Burger King, I can’t have it my way).

If you’re looking for a fun and fast-paced retelling of Beauty and the Beast I feel you will enjoy CB Anderson’s Beauty and Deceit. There’s magic, love and romance, quite a bit of spite (instead of hair pulling, one girl casts a spell making another girl’s hair fall out. these girls take catty to a whole new level). Now for those who disapprove of such things, two of the female fae fall in love with each other during the contest. I thought it was a riot. I mean, wouldn’t that be a shocker on the real TV show? Final ceremony, “Sorry bud, I’m just not that into you. Me and Sara hit it off during the show and we’re going to open a winery together.”

But if you don’t like that sort of thing, well, this may not be the book for you. It was such a small part of the plot, it is hardly worth mentioning. That being said, I thought their romance subplot might make a great short story, since the details didn’t make it into the book (just a suggestion if you read this far, Beth).

My one beef with the story is that I thought the ending was a little too easily resolved. I want to avoid spoilers here, so, all I will say is I would like to have seen the emotion of her final choice drawn out more.

But all in all, a fun twist on a classic tale. And it now places second for my fastest read book, at just over 5 hours (Dawn Hosmer’s Bits and Pieces is still #1 at approx. 3 hours).

Thanks for reading! Please check out some of my other reviews and blogs, or even my own books, The Dark Land series.

Ancient evil stalks the Alaska back country. Some places were never meant for humans to trespass.

November 15, 2021

SLC PUNK!—A Review

A Stream of Consciousness through Anarchy and Mental Health in 1985 Salt Lake City

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0133189/

Unreliable Narrator

In some stories, you don’t know that the MC is an unreliable narrator, you only find out at the end. Not in SLC Punk! Right from the start, we know that Stevie is an unreliable narrator, but we don’t care, because we’re along for the wild ride, and we want to see what his moment of reckoning is going to be.

(If you don’t understand the device of the unreliable narrator in film/writing, check this out)

https://beverlyboy.com/filmmaking/what-is-an-unreliable-narrator-in-film-examples-of-unreliable-narrators-in-movies/

I would put him in the category of elusive unreliable. He withholds information from the audience to let the story slowly unfold. In terms of types, I argue he’s both naïve (naif) and liar (self-preservationist). Naïve, because he believes that everyone is on the same journey as him in his quest to overthrow the system and inspire anarchy. We (and Stevie) watch as his social circle is slowly torn apart by their underlying mental health issues. He’s a liar, because he is lying to himself about his own motives and only discovers this by the end of the story.

The irony is that he is surrounded by other unreliable narrators:

The Naif—Bob
The Self-preservationist—his father*spoiler alert, his part of his moment of reckoning is recognizing he’s more like dad than he wants to admit)
The Madman—Sean, Bob’s father, most of the cast)
The embellisher (Mark)

He is telling their stories through his eyes. The anarchy, alcohol and drugs can only mask the underlying darkness for so long. The awakening is painful and harsh when Stevie sees things for what they are.

The story begins and ends with the shattering of a mirror and a life, but with all things, it is the journey in between. Look forward to our deeper discussion on tonight’s show.

Thanks for Reading!

campsite, DMShepard — Pond behind our campsite at Jack Creek in Wrangell-St. Elias National Park

About the Author

I joined the Navy at 18 to escape a small town in the Mojave Desert. A diagnosis of MS disrupted my dreams of becoming an astronaut or a super spy. I made limoncello from my lemons and became a super electrical engineer instead. My fascination with live high voltage drew me to Alaska. I came for the job, but stayed for the adventure. I enjoy blogging about my journey as a woman working in STEM, my experiences dealing with everything MS has handed me, and the wonder of the Alaska wilderness. My husband and I have undertaken the task of turning 30 acres of remote land into an off-grid retreat. I write stories about unique women in STEM who save the day and the hot guys who sometimes help along the way, as well as historical fiction about the Klondike Gold Rush. Teasers for these stories can be found on my website. I self-published my first horror novella, The Dark Land, on Amazon in May of 2020. I released the sequel, The Devil’s Valley, in May of 2021. Both stories are set in the wilderness of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park, and draw on the Athabascan “Head Waters Peoples” legends of the Cet’ann, or “The People With Tails”.

Some places were never meant for humans to trespass…

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October 18, 2021

He “Forgot” to Tell Me He Was Married. So, I Forgot to Meet Him for Our Date.

Tales From the Dating Vault: The One Time I Stood Someone Up.

Having been stood up and ghosted myself more than once, I find that behavior pretty childish. I will admit, there was one time I did it and I have no regrets. I’ll explain.

I met Todd* when I was working a week on/week off rotation in Prudhoe Bay. At the time I was single and looking. As the saying goes in Alaska, the odds are good, but the goods are odd. Even more so in a place like Prudhoe Bay, where there are way more guys than girls. Todd worked in a different department, but in the same camp. This good-looking, southern boy laid on the charm from the get-go.

*Once again, name have been changed to protect the not so innocent.

My best friend has a saying:

Don’t get your honey where you get your money.
My Best Friend’s Favorite Saying about Work Relationships

Having been burned by work relationships in the past I made it clear to Todd that I wasn’t interested in pursuing anything while we worked up north together. After sometime, I transferred to an Anchorage based position, but he and I kept in touch. He wanted to “pursue a relationship” with me now that we no longer worked together in such close quarters. I was till leery since he lived out of state (Louisiana) and worked a rotational up north.

It just so happened that he had a long layover in Anchorage one week and wanted to take me out on a date. I agreed to pick him up from the airport.

The day of, he called me at work to confirm the time. He also let a little bomb drop.

“It’s okay that I’m married, right?”

No. It was absolutely NOT okay that he was married.

He had months to bring up this information.

I sat at my desk flipping back and forth between shock and seething with rage.

He then launched into what I like to call the “Serial Cheater Speech.” At that point in my dating career, I had encountered enough married guys who were out trolling the dating market. They all had some well-rehearsed variation of the same speech:

If I told you I was married you wouldn’t give me a chance
We got married too young
She let herself go
We never have sex anymore
She only cares about herself
She’s cheating on me
Etcetera

To be frank, I don’t care. I deserved to be with someone that is free to be with only me. Any guy that is using deceit at the start of a relationship just to trick me into being with him is bad news.

He didn’t respect me or want a real relationship with me. If he did, he would have been honest from the beginning.

He wanted to use me.

As much as I would have loved to give him an earful, I was sitting in the cube farm at work.

I decided on a better course of action.

He wrapped up his whiny speech with, “So, it’s okay, right?”

“Sure.”

“Great, see you at the airport.”

I hung up and put my phone on silent. He had some nerve.

I Turned Off My Phone

Wouldn’t you know, that afternoon was a gorgeous day for a bike ride on the Anchorage Trails. I had an awesome afternoon ride, enjoying the beautiful spring day. I came home that night to several missed calls and plaintive voicemails.

He called me at my desk two weeks later, when he got back on shift.

Note, not when he was home. Can’t have the wife find out he was trying to cheat!

He demanded an explanation as to why I didn’t show up. which I felt was pretty ballsy. As far as I was concerned he didn’t have the right to demand anything of me. But I decided to to respond honestly.

My Response:

You’re married. I don’t date married guys.

He tried to launch into his speech about his unhappy married life.

I cut him off and told him never to call again, especially not my work phone.

Time is valuable. I refuse to let people squander my time. I see too many people letting others waste their precious time. Yes, I stood him up. I have no regrets cutting out people who have no respect for my boundaries or time.

I met my future husband less than three months later. If I had been wasting my time with Todd, we would have never connected.

Set boundaries and value your time. The right people will always respect you for it.

Thanks for reading!

About the Author

I joined the Navy at 18 to escape a small town in the Mojave Desert. A diagnosis of MS disrupted my dreams of becoming an astronaut or a super spy. I made limoncello from my lemons and became a super electrical engineer instead. My fascination with live high voltage drew me to Alaska. I came for the job, but stayed for the adventure. I enjoy blogging about my journey as a woman working in STEM, my experiences dealing with everything MS has handed me, and the wonder of the Alaska wilderness. My husband and I have undertaken the task of turning 30 acres of remote land into an off-grid retreat. I write stories about unique women in STEM who save the day and the hot guys who sometimes help along the way, as well as historical fiction about the Klondike Gold Rush. Teasers for these stories can be found on my website. I self-published my first horror novella, The Dark Land, on Amazon in May of 2020. I released the sequel, The Devil’s Valley, in May of 2021. Both stories are set in the wilderness of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park, and draw on the Athabascan “Head Waters Peoples” legends of the Cet’ann, or “The People With Tails”.

September 27, 2021

The Statute of Limitations on A Booty Call: Weird Dating Tales of Old

I’m taking a break this week from my 30-Day Space Available Adventure to dip back into the Dating Vault. I was joking with one of my younger single friends about booty calls.

How long is it acceptable for a guy to keep your number in his queue, then call you up out of the blue expecting you to be receptive to his advances? The weirdest one I had was a year.

Yep, you read that right. A year. This was after he DID NOT call me back after our first and only date. Now, I will say after that less than stellar date, I wasn’t hankering to hear from him. which was why I was surprised to get a booty call more than a year later.

Let me set the stage.

My sophomore year in college, I decided to try out the on-line dating thing again. One such date was a guy named *Mike. Mike and I chatted online for a bit before deciding to meet for dinner. We had pretty good rapport in our online messaging and phone calls, so I was pretty excited about Mike. From his online pictures, he was good-looking (I know, I know, some of you sense danger already. This is when online dating was in its infancy). I even went out and bought a new outfit for this particular date.

I would regret wasting the money later, though I still have the shirt. what can I say, I’m kind of a clothes hoarder.

*Once again, name have been changed to protect the not-so-innocent

What’s the Most Taboo Topic on a First Date?

My regret was not in how Mike looked. His pictures were spot on. My regret was in our dinner conversation over Mexican food at Azteca* restaurant.

*I mention the specific name because it will be an important detail later during the booty call!

I think everyone can agree that exes are typically something a person shouldn’t bring up on a date, right?

His Ex and her Magnificent Fake Breasts

Not in Mike’s case. He spent the whole date getting wasted and talking about how gorgeous his ex was. I got to hear all about her plastic surgery and magnificent fake breasts (and how much he missed them). His grand plan was to train to become a pilot so that he could make enough money to impress her to win her back.

I stabbed at my chicken enchiladas trying to pretend to be interested in this bizarre conversation. I seriously wondered why the hell I was there. I couldn’t even have a margarita since I was driving, though I planned on drowning my angst when I got home.

When I got up to use the ladies’ room at one point, Mike made sure to comment on how great my backside looked in my jeans (but not in such polite terms). When we finished dinner and split the check, I declined the honor of going back to his place.

SHOCKING!

I know, how could I resist such charm?

Obviously, he never called me for a follow-up date. I never called him requesting another either. The feeling seemed mutual at the time.

Can I pick a winner, or what?

A Year Later…The booty Call

Late at night, over a year later, I was sitting on my couch studying for one of my electrical engineering finals. You can imagine my surprise to receive a random text from a number I didn’t recognize:

HEY, WHAT ARE YOU UP TO TONIGHT?

Baffled, I replied:

WHO IS THIS?

A few moments later:

MIKE! WE HAD DINNER AT AZTECA!

I’m sitting on my couch holding my phone surrounded by piles of engineering notes. My phone was one of those small, gray Motorolas that were popular circa 2003. Not great for fast texting, but practically indestructible. I’m staring at this thing trying to figure out who the hell this guy is, then it hit me.

It was the creepy guy that went on and on about his ex, her fake breasts and his pilot lessons.

So I texted back:

HOW ARE THE PILOT LESSONS GOING?

Funny…he never replied.

Personally, my statute of limitations on booty calls is pretty short. If you didn’t get any on the first go round, probably doesn’t make sense to call me out of the blue a year later. But then, there is the saying, “Fortune favors the bold.”

Thanks for reading!

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About the Author

I joined the Navy at 18 to escape a small town in the Mojave Desert. A diagnosis of MS disrupted my dreams of becoming an astronaut or a super spy. I made limoncello from my lemons and became a super electrical engineer instead. My fascination with live high voltage drew me to Alaska. I came for the job, but stayed for the adventure. I enjoy blogging about my journey as a woman working in STEM, my experiences dealing with everything MS has handed me, and the wonder of the Alaska wilderness. My husband and I have undertaken the task of turning 30 acres of remote land into an off-grid retreat. I write stories about unique women in STEM who save the day and the hot guys who sometimes help along the way, as well as historical fiction about the Klondike Gold Rush. Teasers for these stories can be found on my website. I self-published my first horror novella, The Dark Land, on Amazon in May of 2020. I released the sequel, The Devil’s Valley, in May of 2021. Both stories are set in the wilderness of Wrangell-St. Elias National Park, and draw on the Athabascan “Head Waters Peoples” legends of the Cet’ann, or “The People With Tails”.

Some places were never meant for humans to trespass: The Dark Land

September 16, 2021

Ripping the Bandage off Quickly: My 30-Day Space Available Adventure, Part 5

Day trip to Savannah, GA: Contemplation…

Since it was the last day I would have my rental car, I took a day trip down the highway to Savannah, GA one of my favorite places. I walked the riverfront and the old squares of the antebellum city. I always admired the way the Spanish moss hung on the stately live oaks. I drove the coastal highway out to Tybee Island. All the while, my mind churned over what I was going to tell Jake that night at dinner.

Lighthouse on Tybee Island, near Savannah, GA

By the time I made the long drive back up to Charleston, I knew what I was going to say.

Inflection Point

I think everyone in life has multiple forks in the road, or in my case, what I like to think of as inflection points. This was one for me. I was twenty-five years old, and had a series of less than fulfilling relationships under my belt, to say the least. I often attracted what was broken in me, clinging to relationships that weren’t working because I desperately wanted to be with someone. I felt that having a chronic illness made me in adequate to be loved.

This time, as much as I cared for Jake and he cared for me, I saw that this was not going to fulfil what I wanted and needed in life. I needed more than just a relationship with someone. I needed the right one who could support my goals and dreams. To cling to Jake and what we had, no matter how good it felt at the time, would be selfish. So I let go honestly and fully.

That night when I got back to his place and we talked, I told him I was never planning on moving back to Charleston.

I wouldn’t realize it for a long time after, but in that moment, I began to grow up.

Jake took it well. At the same time, for the rest of my stay there was a distance between us. The easy, carefree connection vanished. We made love a few more times, but it wasn’t the same. The painfulness of goodbye stole the magic.

Farewell Party

The weekend before I left, we attended a party hosted by some of his coworkers. Jake and his roommate played in the band. They covered rock classics like Watchtower by Hendrix and Whiteroom by Cream. I tend to be a wall flower in general, but this was one of the most welcoming and fun parties I had ever attended.

The following Monday, Jake drove me to the base at Charleston. In his late twenties, Jake broke his femur in a bad motorcycle accident. They had to install a metal rod in his leg. I remember him rolling his eyes as he set off the metal detector. He explained about the metal rod, but they still gave him a full pat-down. They waved the wand over his leg multiple times, then finally let us pass to the waiting area.

“Every time,” he grumbled, then laughed.

We kissed one last time before I boarded the C-130 for Norfolk. I promised to be careful and keep in touch.

It was bittersweet parting from Jake. Kenny Chesney’s Anything But Mine wouldn’t be released until the next year, but I always think of Jake when I hear that song.

A Positive Outcome

Believe it or not, there is a brightside to the story. At the party I mentioned, Jake met his future wife. They started dating and got married less than a year later. The last I heard from Jake, they had three kids and seemed happy. Jake and I lost touch around the time I moved to Alaska and met my husband. We had been friends on Facebook, but suddenly he wasn’t there anymore. I don’t know if he just discontinued his Facebook membership, or if he unfriended me. Either one is okay. I understand the need to eventually move on. But I will always think of him and our time together in Charleston as one of the best I have ever had.

Next Stop: Norfolk, Virginia

Thanks for Reading

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About the Author

August 25, 2021

A Rift Opens with A Hard Truth: My 30 Day Space Available Adventure, Part 4

Killing Time and Relaxing

Those summer days hanging out on the beach, sometimes with Jake, but most of the time alone (he did have a job) were some of the best of my life. I finished The Two Towers and started The Return of the King. I managed to burn the hell out of my back because I lay on the shore too long in my bikini top and cut-off shorts on my stomach without putting on sunscreen or flipping over. Jake laughed at me that night and rubbed aloe on my back when he saw my burn (I hadn’t realized it…yet).

Isle of Palms Beach. On of my favorite beaches near Charleston, SC

He and his roommate had a band, and some nights I watched them rehearse. The Saturday before I was scheduled to leave, they were performing a huge party that one of their co-workers was planning. For the most part, it was a laid-back week of relaxing and just enjoying each other’s company. I didn’t have to put on a show or pretend to be perfect for him. He already knew who I was and liked it.

Spider Man

Me in downtown Charleston in August, 2003

Remember the giant spider the night I got there?

One night when we got home from dinner, the giant spider was halfway between the house and the tree in the front yard. No really, it was suspended by the lines it had created across the open space.

“I’m done with this. This is creepy!” Jake yelled, grabbing a shovel from the back of his truck. He annihilated the spider mid-air while I cheered him on.

A Divergence Arises

At the same time, a rift was opening between us.

A deadline loomed. It came to a head one evening.

“I wish you still lived in Charleston, and we could date for real again,” Jake said over dinner out of nowhere.

I looked at him across the table and said, ‘I wish I could too.”

In that moment, what wasn’t said was just as important as what was said.

The next morning when Jake got up early for work, I got up early too and drove to the beach. It was something I used to do a lot when I was stationed in Charleston. I would get up early and sit on the beach to watch the sunrise.

I needed to think.

I had already made one really naïve mistake with Bob.

Movies and romance novels make it sound like love conquers all. If you have amazing chemistry and you’re right for each other, relationships just magically come together. But this isn’t Sleepless in Seattle.

There’s another cold hard truth in life…

Relationships are work.

Long distance relationships even more so. Couple that with the fact that Jake and I were at two different points in our lives and diverging, and it becomes more than just work.

I was living in Seattle with the goal of getting my bachelor’s in electrical engineering. I still had three years to go in the program. Aside from the cost of moving, the program that was paying for my schooling was now set, unless I wanted to fight for my funding again, I had to stay in Seattle until I graduated.

And believe it or not, Jake understood. He wasn’t asking me to give up any of that. He, like me, just wished that somehow things could be different.

But they weren’t.

Jake had married and divorced early in his military career. He had made quite a few mistakes after his divorce (I was one of them when he ghosted me in our first go-round). He grew up and learned from his mistakes. He was almost ten years older than me, established in his career and looking to settle down and get married again.

The Hard Truth

I was leaving in a few days. Unless something miraculous happened, it was unlikely that I was ever moving back to Charleston. There was no future for me and Jake after the end of the week.

We both knew it.

Next Adventure: A Quick Trip to Savannah, A Wild Party, Acceptance, and Parting for Virginia

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August 24, 2021August 25, 2021

Electric Connection: My 30 Day Space Available Adventure, Part 3

We left off last time with Jake’s request:

“You don’t have to sleep in the Livingroom tonight. No. Let me put it another way. Sleep with me tonight?”

So what did I do?

Spoiler Alert! I didn’t sleep on the couch…

I will spare you the gory details, this isn’t a purple prose romance. But yes, there was always an intense connection between me and Jake. It was instantaneous and electric, as if no time had passed. There was no being near one another without touching. No touching without kissing. No kissing without…you get the idea.

Confidence is King

I bet you’re curious as to what Jake looked like. I think it’s funny how so many romance novels describe these towering six-foot-tall “Alpha Males” with bulging biceps, and tanned washboard abs. Jake wasn’t like that at all. I’m five-foot-nine, and Jake was slightly taller than me. Many say that confidence is sexy, and I can attest to that. Jake had a quiet, calm confidence that in my encounters over time with other men, few have ever been able to duplicate. His confidence drew me like a lode stone swings north, and it was comforting to connect with him once more.

Tough Questions

Toes in the silky white sand of the Carolina shore, I was reading The Lord of the Rings, The Two Towers while I drank cheap beer with Jake on the beach. I made it my mission on this trip to finish reading the entire Tolkien trilogy since they were making all three into movies, and the third one was coming out in theaters soon.

Laying on the beach blanket next to me, Jake asked, “Are you still going to try to fly to Germany and see him?”

I knew this wasn’t an idle question. Remember that confidence, I mentioned about Jake? His confidence wasn’t a brash arrogance. Nowadays we hear a lot about “mansplaining” or guys just giving their advice without asking. Jake wasn’t like that. But he would ask questions to draw you out, at times even play the Devil’s Advocate. He wanted to know what I was thinking without trying to tell me what to do.

I put the book aside and rested my head on my hands. While I hadn’t officially “broken it off” with Bob, in my heart, it was over. The initiating event of what he had said about “not wanting to work,” had been weird enough. But his violent, expletive filled emails showed me a side of him that was truly terrifying. If he could be like that in an email, what would he be like in person when he got angry?

“No, Jake. I don’t want to go anywhere near him.” I looked out over the waves crashing against the shore, thinking about how Bob was over across the sea somewhere. It was strange how fast my thoughts about him had changed. Less than a week ago, he was a guy that was professing that he wanted to marry me and that he loved me. Now he was sending me hate filled emails about how horrible I was.

I didn’t know him at all. I felt incredibly stupid and naïve.

“You’re going to stay with me for the next week or so, right?” he asked, handing me another beer. I could see the tension release across his shoulders and the relief in his eyes.

“Yeah, I’ve got a whole month off. I talked to my friend Bri. You remember her, right?”

“A little bit, she was in your class in Prototype.”

“I told her if I could get a flight, I would try to make it up her way to Virgina.”

He smiled, “Well we’ll make the most of your time here until you go.”

Another Message From Bob

The Insincere Apology

That afternoon we went back to Jake’s to clean up before we went out to dinner. He took a few days off from work in honor of my being in town. I decided to go online to check for flights for the following week. Indeed, there was a regularly scheduled flight from Charleston to Virginia, leaving the next Monday. I could hang out with Jake for almost nine days.

Meanwhile, an email from Bob made my stomach sink. It was an apology—sort of.

“I’m sorry you took what I said the wrong way. I forgot that girls can be so sensitive about crap. I’m going out for a field exercise for the next two weeks. When I get back we can talk.”

Yeah…okay.

I showed that and the other emails to Jake. His jaw set in a hard line.

“You don’t think he’s sorry, do you?” Jake asked me, crossing his arms over his chest.

“Not for a moment.”

Next: Making and Breaking Connections and Slaying Giant Spiders…

Thanks for reading!

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July 30, 2021

A Long Flight and A Dark and Stormy Night

My 30 Day Space Available Adventure, Part 2

People complain about how the discomfort of airline seats. Don’t get me wrong, I think they are terribly uncomfortable, too. As if the airlines go out of their way to engineer the seats to dig into our legs and backsides. I’m not sure how some people can sleep on airplanes. But I can attest that not much more uncomfortable than the hard metal of the jump seat of a C-130. Fortunately, for the 6+ hour flight from Washington State to North Carolina there was only myself, one other passenger and a bunch of pallets of cargo. After takeoff, the Load Master gave us a couple of gray military blankets and allowed us to stretch out on the floor.

It was a very cold metal floor. I lay on my back in between the cockpit and the pallets, staring up at the ceiling. The plane’s engines roared as we puttered east. I hoped it would drown out the growing doubts in my head. On the surface, I was calm. Inside, I was having definite second thoughts about my impetuous plan to hop on a plane and fly across the country. The less than amicable reply from *Bob about not coming to see him didn’t help matters. An when I say less than amicable, I mean yet another profanity laced missive telling me how horrible I was.

But his reply did cement one thing: he wasn’t as nice or caring as I thought, and perhaps my only mistake was believing that this was a worthwhile relationship.

The other passenger was an attractive, divorced, retired Army Colonel named *Erin on her way to North Carolina to visit her son. While eating the sack lunch provided, we fell into a fun chat about her exploits flying Space Available all over the world in between her business trips.

At some point during the flight, I confessed to my travelling companion what I was up to. She offered to give me a ride to the rental car place. I hadn’t considered the distance from the terminal on base to the rental car facility in town. I figured I would just take a cab or walk. It was a good thing I didn’t by the time we landed almost eight hours later…

Torrential Downpour

Not only did the flight take longer that originally forecasted, but we landed in the midst of a tropical depression. Since this was back in the early 2000’s cell service was still iffy. I landed only to find out that the rental car facility with which I had made a reservation closed at six. It was seven.

I had a meltdown…

Not being very sound of mind as it was, admittedly I started to cry. I was exhausted. It was seven at night in a strange town, and I still had a four plus hour drive ahead of me—assuming I could get a rental car. My mind raced through options. Maybe I could get a cheap hotel and regroup in the morning. I checked my phone. *Jake had called several times. I needed to call him back, but I wanted to have a plan first.

The Kindness of Strangers

Fortunately, Erin was still with me. She and her son were kind enough to help me find another open branch of the same rental car company in Fayetteville. The company was still willing to honor the reservation, but all they had available was a small pickup truck.

Into the Darkness

Armed with my steed, a cherry cola and a bag of Cheetos I picked up at a gas station, I wished Erin and her son goodbye and headed of into the darkness of the I-95 corridor. Jake was relieved to know that I had made it to North Carolina, but worried that I was on the road so late. He let me know that he would wait up for me.

A Storm of Thoughts

I’ve always liked road trips. They are great for listening to music and pondering. I had a lot to ponder as the wipers did their best to keep up with the rain coming down in sheets. I had left Charleston three years before heartbroken and facing an uncertain future with a diagnosis of MS. Things were definitely brighter, in the sense that I was on track to get an electrical engineering degree, though I still had quite a way to go.

But was a heartbroken over Bob? I was struggling to come to grips with that. Dating had been tough since I had been diagnosed with MS. In Bob I thought I had found someone who was understanding. This incident opened my eyes to a different side of him. He didn’t care about me. He just wanted to use me. He also had a mean/abusive streak.

Then there was Jake…

Jake and I had tried to make it work once. Then he dumped me/ghosted me. We reconnected later. There was always that: what if?

What if I hadn’t been leaving Charleston?

What if I had stayed and gone to college back there?

Could we have had something together?

None of the songs on the radio or the constant drone of the rain against the windshield had that answer for me as I drew closer to South Carolina. Even though I was exhausted, I seemed to catch a second burst of energy as I pulled into his neighborhood. The rain let up, tapering off to a light drizzle when I pulled into the driveway and killed the engine.

A Giant Spider Web

I remember staring up at the house and noticing an enormous spider web across his front window. I’m not kidding. This thing had a diameter of about 10 feet and was clearly visible, with droplets of water clinging to the silky strands. It looked like something out of a Halloween store. Jake came jogging out into the drizzle in his boxers and a t-shirt to help me with my backpack. But first he gave me a big hug. No hug had ever felt so good in my life up until that point. We raced into the house past the giant web.

A Heartfelt Request…

It felt so good to shower and wash off the grime of the day’s travel. I finished the beer he had brought me and I lay back on his couch, grateful to finally relax. He had put out sheets, a blanket and a pillow for me to sleep there. He stood watching me, hands on his hips, forget-me-not blue eyes full of concern.

“Daniella, are you going to be okay?”

“I’m fine,” I insisted, trying to ignore that familiar tug from his expression. “I made it here, didn’t I?”

“That’s not what I meant.” He bit his lip and looked over his shoulder toward his bedroom. Then he looked back at me again. “You don’t have to sleep in the Livingroom tonight. No. Let me put it another way. Would you sleep with me tonight?”

Question, readers…what would you have done?

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent.

I’ll tell you what I did, next blog…

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July 26, 2021August 25, 2021

Getting Lost and Found: The Beginning of My 30-Day Space-Available Adventure

A while back I posted this picture on social media:

It was one of my most unique life adventures. For about a month during summer break from college in August of 2003, I flew around the US, wherever the military had Space Available Flights.

Several followers reached out and said they would like to know more about the story behind this trip.

Here goes:

The Backstory

Midnight 2001/2002 I met *Bob at a nightclub in downtown Seattle. We went on two dates before he was stationed overseas in preparation for Iraq.

Long Distance Relationship

Our relationship was mostly phone calls and letters. But he professed to love me and want to marry me. On one hand, I was rather flattered. This is the kind romance you read about in books or see in movies, right? Even my mom thought it was sweet, since that is how she and my dad met. My parents dated briefly before my father headed off to Vietnam, then they got married when he returned. They’ve now been married almost 50 years. In theory, it could work.

But Do You Really Know Him?

My guts told me this was rash. How much can you really get to know someone through calls and letters. I decided to give it a shot. At the same time, I really thought we needed to see each other more in person before taking it to the next level.

Through these letters and calls, we did learn quite a bit about each other. In particular, he did know about the fact that I had a chronic medical condition: MS. He also knew I was putting myself through school to get my electrical engineering degree in Seattle.

The Best Laid Plans of Mice and Men

In the on my summer break from college in 2003, I made plans to go visit him in Germany before he was due to rotate to Iraq. I was on a serious budget in college, so I researched taking military Space Available flights (I’m medically retired from the Navy, so I’m eligible).

The Inciting Event

During the final few weeks of classes, the stress brought on a migraine so severe, I had to be hospitalized (because they weren’t sure if it was a migraine or a stroke). When I was being released from the hospital, I sent him an email about what was going on and asked him to call me. I couldn’t call him at the time because of his location.

A Red Flag Flies

When he finally called, as I was being discharged from the hospital he said, “Is this going to be a regular thing? Because when we’re married, I don’t want to have to work.”

I was too stunned to come back immediately with anything, especially since I was still doped up on medications.

He then quickly dismissed me with something along the lines of, “take care driving home and I’ll talk to you later.”

I think you will understand when I tell you, that BOTHERED ME. And that is putting it mildly. I hoped he was joking. He said he cared.

WHAT THE HELL????

I wasn’t putting myself through the torture of an electrical engineering degree just for the fun of it. Though I am one of those psychos who likes to do math. In fact, the VA was paying for it on the premise that I would be employable at the end. I WANTED TO WORK. At the same time. I have Multiple Sclerosis. A disease that can choose to knock me flat whenever it wants.

One of my major criteria for a life partner was someone who would be on my team. Not someone who just wanted me to support him.

At the same time, I wanted to give him the benefit of the doubt. Part of me desperately wanted it to just be a misunderstanding. After all the letters and calls, yes, I had feelings for him.

Things Go From Bad to Worse

So, I sent him an email telling him that something he said really bugged me, and I wanted to talk about it. Could he give me a call back so we could discuss it?

His reply?

He was too busy. Just email him.

I really didn’t want to do that because I know how things can come off wrong in an email. I let him know that.

His reply was that I was starting to annoy him, and I should really just email what was on my mind.

So…I…did…

Oh boy…

The response in return was a profanity laced email that haunts me to this day. I won’t go into details. Sadly, I wasn’t rude. I just stated what he said and why it hurt me. The names he called me and how angry he got was terrifying.

I decided was not going anywhere in his vicinity.

New Plans and an Ex-Boyfriend/Old Friend

I was shaken and restless. I had a whole month off from school and work. I needed to escape. The walls of my apartment seemed to get smaller every time I read Bob’s violently angry email.

I know many people say you can’t be friends with an ex-boyfriend, but it just so happens I was.

I called up *Jake.

Backstory of Jake

Jake and I dated in the Navy in South Carolina. Our first go-round didn’t work out. He ghosted me in the worst way and broke my heart. I moved on. When I got diagnosed with MS and was getting ready to leave South Carolina, he called me one night out of the blue.

Jake apologized profusely with no expectations of forgiveness or friendship. He said that he had always felt guilty for what he had done, but didn’t know how to rectify it. He told some of his friends about it, and they insisted that he call and at least try to apologize. We went out for dinner. The sparks flew again between us, but I was moving away, so we became good friends.

When I called Jake and told him what happened, he suggested I come to Charleston and stay with him for a bit instead. I looked up the Space Available Schedule. While I couldn’t get directly to Charleston, SC; I could get to North Carolina and rent a vehicle.

The Adventure Begins…

I sent Bob an email that I wasn’t coming to Germany, and that we needed to take a break from each other. Which seemed silly in some ways since I hadn’t seen him in almost a year and a half at that point. But I needed time to process his violent response to my email. I let him know I would talk to him again when school started.

I packed my trusty green backpack. I have travelled with this baby across Europe, on camping trips in the Alaska backcountry, and I still have it to this day. I loaded it into the back of my red Hyundai and headed to McChord AFB, south of Seattle to catch my flight across the US.

Next: my flight to North Carolina and a Dark and Stormy Night

*Names have been changed to protect the innocent and not-so-innocent

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July 11, 2021

My Review of Immortal Honor Bound by Danielle Anacona

Intriguing Blend of Gods, Heroes, Mythology, Time Travel and Romance

Of Alchemy & Angels, The Series

I enjoy reading as much as I like writing. One of the frustrating parts of trying to publish and promote a book is that it cuts into my reading time. Now that things are slowing down a little it is nice to catch back up on my TBR and Review pile.

In particular, by Immortal Honor Bound by Danielle Ancona involving Angels, Alchemy, Gods, Heroes and other supernatural creatures. Before I dive into my review, I want to be honest and give you a hint of how much liked this book. I rarely buy books for other people because I feel that books are a highly personal thing. But in this case, I bought several copies for the female members of my family and couple of my close friends when it was released. I wrote a piece of fan fiction as part of my blog. I also had the honor of beta reading this story in the early stages three years before it was published and seeing how it evolved, so I had an idea what the final product was going to look like.

So yes…I’m a fan of this story and the stories that are (hopefully) to come in this series.

Danielle’s writing blends historical fiction and paranormal romance with strong heroines and heroes. She takes us on a STEM-based, paranormal adventure through history, blending Greek, Egyptian, and Christian Theology/Mythology/Lore with warrior angel Malachi.

Main Character Malachi

A battle is raging between the Seraphs led by renegade Angel Gideon who wishes to subjugate humankind and the Celestials in Heaven. Unorthodox (and incredibly sexy) Malachi leads forces to thwart him. At the same time, his brash manner and closeness with deities of other backgrounds and humans irritates the Celestials—in other words, makes them look bad. Kind of like the competent blue-collar worker pointing out the flaws in the CEO’s plan. I picture him almost like a cross between Han Solo, Geralt in the Witcher and Maximus in the Gladiator. Competent, not afraid to get his hands dirty, gets the job done, but of course, totally embarrasses the insecure along the way. As punishment, they sentence him to being an immortal earthbound guardian.

Time Travel

He moves forward through time, protecting numerous important historical figures whom the Gideon and the Seraph wish to destroy or manipulate. Because of the success of book like Outlander, there’s a lot of people rushing to write “time travel” romance. Danielle’s version of time travel, having a supernatural character who can move through time, allows for more flexibility/believability than taking a character out of one time and placing them into another. It helps avoid many of the paradox and social issues that turn the story more toward scifi.

Romance Element

Malachi comes forward into 1600’s England where he meets Alchemist, Daphne. I always chuckled growing up when I would read my mom’s “bodice ripper” novels and they would say something along the lines of, “the head strong, sassy, intelligent <female protagonist’s name> did x.” And usually, it was something that a female character of that time period really wouldn’t do. Sure, I get it, they are selling a fantasy. Still always made me laugh. Right there along with whenever they had people taking an unrealistic number of baths in the medieval era or portrayed women with silky, clean shaven legs. I always wanted to re-write in, hairy, you mean hairy right? Maybe they meant the silky hair on her legs. I digress…

Instead of telling us what a smart, strong female protagonist Daphne is, Danielle shows us. Daphne is a female alchemist studying under Dante, a renowned Alchemist in Yorkshire. She walks a fine line this era of England, when women are getting tried for witchcraft and hung/burned just for having the wrong attitude in life, let alone having thoughts and knowledge uncommon to a woman. Not to mention, she is also harboring supernatural capabilities of her own, which Gideon and the Seraph are hoping to bring over to their cause.

The attraction between Daphne and Malachi is intense and immediate. At the risk of avoiding spoilers, there is also a dark fate hanging over the couple. They are drawn together, but forces are conspiring to rip them apart by any means necessary.

Side Characters

Danielle gives us an intriguing cast of side characters who ally with Malachi and eventually Daphne along the way. The heat between Egyptian God Thoth and Warrior Katherine the Adamantine is off the scale. Picture Bridgerton level of desire and wanting, but between a god and an Amazon, instead of Regency England. Danielle has hinted that there may be more instore for these two characters, which I hope is coming soon.

The only negative I would have with Immortal Honor Bound is that Danielle could probably have split the material into two if not three stories and stretched it out. Over all, it is a great and compelling story, and I am looking forward to the rest of her Angels and Alchemy series.

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Ancient evil stalks the Alaska Backcountry. Some places were never meant for humans to trespass.